Unfortunately, nonbelievers may suffer additional emotional and mental pain as they grieve and mourn, unable to find the peace believers may experience as they grieve. Believers know that God did not “cause” the death to happen, but He does allow events to happen for reasons we won’t know until we get to heaven. Believers understand God’s purposes are only for good, yet in the middle of our heartache, we may still cry out, “Why, God? Why?” We just don’t understand.

Right now, in the middle of your extreme grief, you may not be ready or able to accept the love of Jesus, and that is okay. Just know He loves you and is walking alongside you as He offers you comfort and strength to keep on going each day. You may begin to recognize the love of Jesus through the love of those around you. His love may come through the love of family, friends, neighbors, sympathy cards, emails, flowers, kind words, caring people, therapy, or grief counseling. Jesus’ love knows no boundaries. You may be surprised that even seasoned believers like pastors and ministers, who have been preaching for years and know about Jesus’ promises, may still ask the question of “Why, God?”

A beloved pastor and his wife lost their young granddaughter to a tragic accident. There are no adequate words to describe such a heartbreaking loss, and the shock leaves their hearts and the hearts of their family members completely traumatized. Their family is left trying to make sense of this tragedy as they grieve, hurt, cry, and turn to Jesus and each other for comfort.

He quietly shared with an emotional, crackling voice, “Lord, be with us in the middle of this crisis. We don’t understand. This is not easy! We worship You. We cry out to You! Father, we look up to You, we praise You, and we lift up Your name. Oh, Lord, we hurt! We give You praise and glory. This is a territory we have not walked through before. We always believe You know best, yet we have no words. The words don’t come to adequately describe how we feel, how we hurt, and how we grieve. “We have cried so many tears, and through the tears, this is one of the first times in forty years of ministry when I have asked, ‘Why, God?’ We know Your words, Lord; we know Your promises; and through our lifetime of learning about You, we know and stand on Your faithfulness as we grieve our loss.

“Lord, I don’t have any answers, and I don’t understand, but I continue to trust in You. I continue to praise and sing to You. We will not know the ‘why’ on this side of heaven, but there is one thing I do know this morning, and I believe this with my whole heart as I stand here today.

God is faithful, God is true, The Word is true, and He will be with us until the end.”

As believers, we know the separation is only temporary, and we will soon be together again. I know in my heart that my granddaughter is in heaven and all is well and I should rejoice. But the frail, human side of me cries because she is gone and I will deeply miss her. I hurt so much, my strength fails, and my heart aches for my family.

“The shock is difficult to describe. It feels like the time when I fell off a horse, straight onto my back. As I hit the ground, all the air in my lungs was knocked out. I gasped and struggled to breathe, but no air came, my brain was foggy, and then slowly, I felt the air starting to come back into my lungs. That is how it has been for the last few weeks.”

“We keep reminding ourselves we will get to see her again soon, and when that day comes, when we are united, the answers will be revealed, and it will be good. Until that time, how do we get through this grief and suffering? We keep worshiping, we keep singing, and we keep on trusting God, over and over. We keep on trusting Him every minute of the day.”

The pastor finished his talk with this: “Help us, Lord! We are struggling. My prayer is that everyone will come to know You, Lord. You know it was a true blessing that during a recent church camp, my teenage granddaughter dedicated herself to the Lord to love, praise, and follow Him. After the memorial service, I see young adults holding hands in a circle and praying and giving their lives to You, Lord. Is this what it is all about? One person’s life ends to save the lives of others? Does that child inspire others to turn to You, Lord?”

The Scripture says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28 NKJV).

The strength and power of the pastor’s words inspire us. Through his grief, we grieve with him and feel the love of Jesus speaking through him. The pastor’s message is that no matter what we are going through and no matter how hard it gets, the Lord is with us to give us the strength and comfort we need each minute of the day. The Lord said we would have trials in life—and some trials are harder than others.

Our hearts go out to him as He says, “Even in the midst of our grief, it is okay to ask why—yet we pray; we hurt—yet we pray; we cry—yet we pray. We pray knowing Jesus is with us. We pray knowing Jesus’ ways are right and His ways are good. We draw close to Him as we continue to trust and lean on Him. We turn to family and friends as we express our sorrow and encourage each other to stay close to Jesus.”

As families grieve with broken hearts, the Lord knows something we don’t know or completely understand. If one family member dies, the grief and love of twenty to forty other family members is an extended release of love for that person and each other. This release of love through grief extends to each other as we cry, comfort, and give words of encouragement. We may continue for years to share our grief and love for our child, extending our love to neighbors, friends, church, and work.

This is Jesus’ love. His commandment is to love one another as He has loved us. Believers’ souls, when they die, will immediately be in heaven with Christ Jesus. This may result in more family and friends turning to Jesus for their own salvation. The Lord knows who will come to know Him and be with Him for eternity. One person’s unfortunate death may result in hundreds to thousands of others being saved.